Mood: Reflective

Just when you begin to wonder how God speaks to us, He chooses the most unlikiest of ways. I seem to have trouble listening to Him. Somehow, I just do not know when He is speaking to me. Bouts of depression lately. After an extremely emotionally draining day, I had a dream two nights ago. The next morning, he revealed himself to me again thru a good friend whilst breakfast one morning before studying. Even without me mentioning my burdens, this friend of mine just mentioned that sometimes, He doesn't want us to take a certain path is because He has better things in store for us. I mean, I used to believe that. What happened suddenly? Perhaps, God gives us gentle reminders every now and then, that He is still present when we think otherwise, that patience is a virtue. Good things are worth waiting for. Even if it seems the most unlikiest of scenarios at the moment, miracles will and do happen. You just gotta pray and beg God for it. He will answer. Another point mentioned by my friend who gave his own testimony. We just have to obey Him. Sounds easy, but not at all.

Sidenote: I'm so thankful for my mum.

Tell me where it hurts

It's pouring out there, and inside...

You know I'm not good with words; and I know u know this song, so here goes:

What is that sad look in your eyes

Why are you crying

Tell me now, tell me now

Tell me, why you’re feelin’ this way

I hate to see you so down, oh baby

Is it your heart

Oh, that’s breakin’ all in pieces

Makin’ you cry

Makin’ you feel blue

Is there anything that I can do

Why don’t you tell me where it hurts now, baby

And I’ll do my best to make it better

Yes, I’ll do my best to make those tears all go away

Just tell me where it hurts now, tell me

And I love you with a love so tender

Oh and if you let me stay

I’ll love all of the hurt away

I can wait forever

When you say, I miss the things you do
I just want to get back close again to you
But for now, your voice is near enough
How I miss you and I miss your love
And though, all the days that pass me by so slow
All the emptiness inside me flows
All around and there's no way out
I'm just thinking so much of you
There was never any doubt

I can wait forever
If you say you'll be there too
I can wait forever if you will
I know its worth it all, to spend my life alone with you

When it looked as though my life was wrong
You took my love and gave it somewhere to belong
I'll be here, when hope is out of sight
I just wish that I were next to you tonight
And though, Ill be reaching for you even though
You'll be somewhere else, my love will go
Like a bird on its way back home
I could never let you go
And I just want you to know

I can wait forever
If you say you'll be there too
I can wait forever if you will
I know its worth it all, to spend my life alone with you

-Lyrics by Air Supply-

Down, Not Out

Mood meter: 2/10

Fuzzy Wuzzy

All warm and fuzzy these days...

Some recent pictures

State: Confused

You hate the feeling:

When your heart tells you one thing, but your head tells you another.

When situations all around you seem to point towards smth not meant for you, but then, just when you thought you've got the answer to your dilemma, everything seems to work in your favour once again, and it makes you rethink.

When it's been ages since you've felt that way, and the feeling returns because of someone you've met, only to realise that it may not work out eventually.

When people you've consulted have reminded you to think of someone higher up there, but you still want to go ahead and try. The human nature. It's not as if I've haven't been there before, it's the stupid voice which still says it may be possible somehow.

Of having the person who eventually may be the one, to be around you when all these happen.

Of being the person who has to be around when someone you like, likes another. And all you can do is nothing. And it hurts because nobody knows anything.

Of waiting without any certainty of the future. Some people say 'seize the day', others say 'good things take time'. Which will you listen to?

4 Things You Cannot Recover

The stone after it's shot.
The word after it's spoken.
The occasion after it's lost.
The time after it's gone.

Update

Yes I'm still alive. Just don't know what to blog about haha. Ask me about my life. =P

More and Less

Less emotional; Less impulsive; More decisive.

I hate this feeling

I think we cannot go on like this. We shd stop. It's obvious to you isn't it? Somethings I don't hafta say, cause u noe i dun have the heart to. But if situation warrants me to, I'm sorry but I will. For the long term good. Maybe it isn't love you're feeling. How do you know it is anyway? It takes two hands to clap. Somehow, i just don't feel the 'connection'. You shd be able to sense it. I need to break it to you.

Hats off

Taken off Deborah's blog =)

A cruel little joke

One day, as i scrolled thru my phonebook, i decided to sms her. We arranged to meet up on Monday, but as fate would have it, we met on saturday instead. And after a couple of drinks, we sat down to talk. Then we learnt about the past. that was 5 years ago. A long time. When we met again on sunday, more things were revealed, but it was complicated. Much too complicated. Today, things changed drastically. How i wished i said things i should have said, and not do things i shdn have done. She said i'll still have a special place in her heart. But for how long? I should be fair to her. I should just tell her the truth. We cant go on like this forever. It ain't right.

Thoughts for the month

You know you haven't been home for awhile when you don't remember where your letter box is.

God works in mysterious ways. He brings people back in your life, with a whole new perspective of life itself.

You wonder if God is speaking to you when you have affirmations from various sources, especially when you embark towards the unknown.

Everything happens in His time. Be patient, one day you will understand why; I still don't sometimes, but I know He will reveal His plans for me, to me, soon.

We all fall short to sin sometimes, for it is human nature. However, do not sin in rebellion against God. It is not worth it.

MYMP's version - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

It's good to slack

Looking in your eyes, I see a paradise
This world that I've found is too good to be true
Standing here beside you, want so much to give you
This love in my heart that I'm feeling for you

Let em say we're crazy, I don't care about that
Put your hand in my hand baby Don't ever look back~
Let the world around us just fall apart
Baby we can make it if we're heart to heart

And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now~
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothings gonna stop us, nothings gonna stop us~

I'm so glad I found you, I'm not gonna lose you
Whatever it takes I will stay here with you
Take it to the good times, see it through the bad times
Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do

Let em say we're crazy, what do they know??
Put your arms around me baby
Dont ever let go~
Let the world around us, just fall apart..
Baby we can make it if we're heart to heart~

And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now~
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothing's gonna stop us, nothings gonna stop us~

Ooh, all that I need is you
All that I ever need
And all that I want to do, is hold you forever ever and ever, hey

I've got this song stuck in my head. LOL I think it's pretty catchy and 80ish and mamboish, which it is haha. Awesome stuff. Ok random.

Mahjong, friends, the occasional beer, chips, music... they all spell the word SLACK. haha

Chillllllllll

Holi Holi day

Ok i've unlocked my blog haha...
I still don't feel the holiday mood yet =P

It is finished

what a huge sense of relief
funny i must say
all things seem to point towards this anyway

i feel unburdened
a load off my shoulders
probably yours too

i think i've made a right decision this time round
ive come to my senses
im sleepy as i type this
yet i awake from my slumber

What a dream i had.

Insomnia

how am i supposed to forget u
leave you outta my thoughts
to stop looking at pictures of you
and me

i miss the times before this
few though we had
but the memories i hold dear

my friend tells me to drop the thought

seeing u with another just hits me bad
there're times i don't hafta guess
cause he'll be there
while i'm not

who can know what you're thinking?
i'll nv know where i stand

my friend tells me it's infatuation

aren't we past that age?

you gotta let me know girl

Part 1

sometimes i wonder
if i do say the right things
to the right person
at the right time

and then there's the question
when IS the right time

i'm either too early
or too late

now i think about it so very often
it's distracting me
exam period

can't concentrate during lectures
can't even sleep properly cause in my dreams u appear

there's a fine line between infatuation and 'like'
a line i can't distinguish

im not used to playing this role

we'll see how it goes won't we?
at least u know this isn't a game i'm playing =)

when part 1 sinks in
perhaps you'll think about it

i can only hope
cause i ain't like him