Can't concentrate

So many things on my mind right now, i just can't seem to focus. I feel this is where life starts and play ends. Gota accomplish what i set out to do from the beginning. It's fucking difficult. I look around me and i see i dun have anything at the moment. I begin to worry, to wonder about the future. I dun even know how i'll be coping come end of the year. I think i have begun to realise. I aint gona lead a selfish life. I want people around me to be happy, and i'd do more than anything to see them so. Just knowing my loved ones and frens are doing well makes me feel a much happier person. Sometimes tho, the difficult part is the situation is not in our hands. We can't fucking do no shit to help them feel better. and the feeling bloody hell sucks. It's like you're made to feel fucking useless. Sometimes i wish i was a doctor, sometimes a mind-reader. And then u have all the 'if onlys' that start flooding your already dense brain from all the fucking sch work and stuff...wondering if u have a place in hall next sem, wondering how and where u gona study properly if u get kicked outa hall..wondering how u gona pay ur loans and get a job when you graduate. Now the economy's doing well...but we all noe the economic cycle...im jus praying it doesn hit my batch when we graduate..i've never kbed so much on my blog cz i tot i shd keep it clean..but oh well...wtf..it's MY boring black blog...nothing fanciful, popups, colours etc..stupid lab report still gota do..maths quiz tmr..computing quiz thurs..econs quiz next mon..oral presentation for effective communication...sumone sedate me now..amidst all these..i know im still sane sumhow...served Mass after such a long time..felt so good and aware that God is keeping me sane and all these so-called hardtimes are just temporary. After all, our rewards are in heaven, not this place called Earth, where it'll get swallowed up by the Sun in 5.4billion years time or hit by sum random asteriod from Kuipter's belt in between now and 5.4billion years time...ah..i need to punch smth..can we hang punching bags in our hall? so much angst in me..i wana keep my sanity..maybe the SJI motto will carry me through...Pray and work..ora et labora...praying alone wun work if we dun help ourselves and working alone doesn help to keep u sane from the worldly pressures..God all i ask is for peace and people not to suffer...i dun ask for wealth nor riches..Use me as your instrument..One day i shall find out your purpose for me in this life..Forgive me Lord for i am but a sinner.