Thursday, December 16, 2010

Again. Just get out of my life. We'd be better off without you.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Just Fuck Off

Saturday, July 10, 2010

What's your motivation?

I need a sense of purpose.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Random

Shit. I'm getting all emo and teary. WTF!!!
All of a sudden, I decided to read the blog of a friend this morning. Reading the blogs of some of my old friends makes me feel melancholic and very sentimental all of a sudden. And that's like when I'm on the other side of the world, but I can't really get to know what's happening in their lives. A part of me decides to move on, but everyone who's been through it knows that some special memories with certain people will always remain. Whether or not the other party feels the same way is another thing. It's just a pity some things don't work out. We always wonder why. I choose to believe God has a plan; then again, I get impatient at times and wonder. Even listening to songs that remind me of our times together will stir the emotions in me. Many times there's the option to 'escape' through worldly 'activities'; somehow, I always stop myself from plunging too far down. Sometimes I really wish I had something to erase any memory I want to.

Friday, June 11, 2010

I think I know

I've typed down all that has happened during my travels from Niagara Falls to NYC to DC to Miami to Orlando on MSnotepad and when I try to copy and paste, it just doesn't work. Oh well. I'm too lazy to retype everything on blogger. Don't really think anyone reads my blog already anyway haha.

Anyway, somehow or rather, I don't know what is this I'm feeling.

Signing off.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Week 1 USA

I hope this post doesn't get too boring because it'll all be about admin.

14/05
Cabbed from home to Changi Airport with cost of $28 =x Ok did the usual checking in and all, then flew to HongKong for transit. Flight from sg to hk was abt 3+ hours. We flew United Airlines. From hk to Chicago, about 13+ hours. From Chicago to Charlotte, another 2 hours. Finally, reached Charlotte at 9pm+. And, due to some screw-ups, some of our luggages were on the next flight, and some ppl missed their flights as well due to the long queues at security, and hence, with all the waiting, we reached the hotel at 1am.

15/05
Walked to Carowinds Amusement Park which was about 20min walk away. It's located on the border of North and South Carolina so we always have to cross the border. Did all the admin at the HR office which lasted one whole day.

16/05 - 17/05
Spent the whole of these 2 days planning for our trip around the East Coast. Went to Walmart on Sunday night. Total Damage: ~$80USD. Stocked up on cup noodles and microwaveable food. bought slippers, court shoes and running shoes. After planning, the total cost of our travels is abt $523USD. Excluding accommodation and food. oh well, i'll earn it back haha. =P

18/05
Left hotel at 0445. To get to Charlotte airport to fly to Newark, and then to Buffalo for the start of our East Coast trip. The plan: Up to Buffalo, Niagara Falls, down to NY, down to DC, down to Miami, up to Orlando, and then back up to Charlotte.
Am at Newark-Liberty International Airport now!! awaiting flight transit to Buffalo. The weather doesn't look too good, hopefully it'll clear up!

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again...
Will I see you again...

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Ode to the Nice Guys

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal:

http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

"This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming."

-Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003-

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Friday, April 16, 2010

"I don’t pretend to know what love is for everyone,
but I can tell you what it is for me.
Love is knowing all about someone,
and still wanting to be with them more than any other person.
Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself,
including the things you might be ashamed of.
Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone,
but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you. ”

— The O.C.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Sometimes you just have to run away

I just can't wait for my US trip to materialise. I need to get away.

Monday, April 12, 2010

A message?

500 Days of Summer = 88 Days of Year4Sem2 ??

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

bits of reflections

1. sometimes, what we envision as the perfect scenario just doesn't happen. more often than not, we settle with smth different from our expectations. =)

2. true friends stay with you when u're down, even after they've already shared their opinions. they won't leave u alone and say, "i already told u so"

3. new life means letting go of everything that is of the old. what awaits us is smth beyond our expectations. if only we let go.

4. it's possible to simply shut the door. just do so gently. don't slam it.

Breathe

Ok. I'm finally quite settled. Doing lotsa admin stuff since sunday nite:

1. Packed my room in hall, which actually just looks messy cause of the loads of food on the table and the unfolded clothes on my bed haha. but the food is neatly arranged and clothes folded and stuffed away.

2. Handed in FYP second draft to prof. he hasn't gotten back to me. i hope he's accepted it and not give me last minute to make changes.

3. EE4902 reports are the same as previous years. YAY :D i can use the sample reports.

4. Singtel bills, Citibank bills are paid, either online or at AXS machine.

5. Forms for US visa application are done.

6. Past year papers are printed.

7. Changed the spocket and chain of my bike, sent my bike for vehicle inspection, extended insurance coverage, awaiting to renew road tax.

8. Topped up 'V-power racing' at JB.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Ok if anyone wants to buy me presents for whatever reason:

1. Nice comfy headphones (the leather cushion type)
2. Waterproof/water resistant track pants
3. iphone cover

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

End of the Road

This time, it really is the end of the road. No more. More details soon hopefully. But as long as the both of us know what's goin on, that's good enough for me.

I see the silver lining in everything that doesn't work out

Friday, March 26, 2010

Dear God,

The only thing I ask of you,
is to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away... ...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I promise I'll never leave you behind.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

To love or to be loved?

Love is like heaven, but it can hurt like hell.
I'm glad these I made these 2 weeks easier.
When 23rd arrives, I hope things won't change.

Sometimes, I wonder if all I'm living is just a dream. We all are entitled to, are we not?

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Heart-warming

Those simple words and the the look in your eyes were enough to melt my heart.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

=D

Annoying Orange puts a smile on my face HAHAHAHAHA. Wazzzuuuupppp.... LOL

Sunday, March 14, 2010

"...是你永远不曾过的体会..."

I miss you.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I can't think of a title for this, probably cause I can't describe the way I'm feeling right now.

I know. Me too.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Mixed feelings

I've got so much to think about nowadays. FYP, ENS, relationships, friendships, career.

On a random note, I'm getting hungry and sleepy so often, I feel as if my life is just of eat and sleep haha.

Puts a smile on my face hahahaahah:
Hey, hey banana! watcha doing?? --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL_qGMfbtAk

Sunday, March 07, 2010

End of Recess Week - A New Beginning

It starts afresh here.

Song of the moment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sjcvasr-6o0

(English translation)
Some say it’s not over ‘till it’s over
Guess this is really over now
There’s something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen

When you have a fight with him
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again
To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Coz then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Oh, please leave him and come to me

Baby, please don’t take his hand
Coz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Please look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing
It’s not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy
Now I have no more tears left to cry
When I’m by myself I talk to you like you’re here
I’ve felt so restless every night
Maybe I’ve known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave him and come to me

Baby, don’t take his hand when he comes to you
Coz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing
It’s not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It’s going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

Friday, March 05, 2010

End of the road

So this time, I guess this is really it.

Thank you for the memories.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

=D

Warms my heart. Thank you very much.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

10 months to Christmas

Feel so... jaded
Want to run away

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Just for memory's sake, how Hall 6 lost the track title. Tied on points with Hall 3, but Hall 3 had gold for 3 events while we had 2. And that was through disqualification of Hall 1 which enable Hall 3 to move up the standings. BUT, IF I HAD RUN THE 4X100m, I AM SO DAMN CERTAIN WE COULD HAVE FINISHED WITH A GOLD, IF NOT SILVER AT LEAST, IN WHICH CASE 1 FREAKING POINT DETERMINES US BEING THE OVERALL TRACK CHAMPS!

And rugby in the afternoon didn't have a fairytale ending too. But no complains. I think I'm proud and happy with my team.

Here ends my love affair for sports with Hall 6. Mixed feelings of what could have, or could not have been throughout my 4 years. No medals in my final year. But memories to take with me. Battle scars to show for. Then again, nothing lasts forever. Empires and dynasties come and go.


Friday, February 19, 2010

I need a miracle. Can i recover from a bad ankle sprain in 2 days? Pls God.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

"And time will pass me by~"

OMG. the play count for 'will you wait for me' by kavana is a staggering 40 on my itunes. haha. And it's recently been added lol.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Just the thought of...

It's hard not to feel this way. Ok, don't think.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Unfinished business

1) Health
2) Career/Finance
3) Heart
4) Schoolwork

Sunday, February 07, 2010

What does one call this?

The Unnamed feeling. Restlessness? Maybe. Helplessness? Perhaps. Wanting-to-do smth-but-in-no-position-to-do-so. Knowing-something-isn't-right-but-unable-to-place-a-finger-on-it.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Songs say it best

Please Forgive Me - Bryan Adams
Please forgive me, I know not what I do
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you

I Can Wait Forever - Air Supply
I can wait forever
If you say you'll be there too
I can wait forever if you will
I know it's worth it all, to spend my life alone with you

How Did I Fall In Love With You - Backstreet Boys
What can I do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say? What did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

Can't lose what you never had - Westlife
Rules are made for breakin'
Nothing ventured nothing gained
I'll be no worse off than I am right now
And I might never get that chance again
...
I don't care if you think I'm crazy
It doesn't matter if it turns out bad
I've got no fear of losing you
You can't lose what you never had
...

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Absolutely

To love is to take risk. To love is to wait. To love is to break the barriers. To love is to run the miles. To love is to give and not to take. To love is to keep on reaching out. To love is to never give up. To love is to be patient. To love is to speak from the bottom of your heart.

Monday, February 01, 2010

Amor no intercambiado

Esto hace daño a mí mucho siempre que yo sepa que usted está con él. Sin embargo, sólo puedo ser un amigo bueno a usted. Rezaré y esperaré que un día yo tenga tu amor.

And if I promise not to feel this pain, will I see you again, will I see you again?

An end to January. My heart's already been on a roller coaster.

Friday, January 29, 2010

痴心绝对

看见你和他在我面前

证明我的爱只是愚昧

你不懂我的 那些憔悴

是你永远不曾过的体会

为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解

我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切

你又狠狠逼退 我的防备

静静关上门来默数我的泪

明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会

我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天

直到那一天 你会发现

真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

In His Time

"Don't get disappointed when God doesn't give you what you want...For He knows the best time for you to have it"

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The possibility

Un-melancholic. I like nice dreams. I wish they'd turn into reality. =)

Monday, January 25, 2010

To answer a question

The answer surfaces when you least expect it to.

11 months to Christmas

Live for the moment. You're only young once.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Surreal

What a month to remember thus far; and it's still January of 2010. This year seems to have many interesting things in store for me if every month is such. More precisely, what a week. Never would I have imagined. Surreality. Melancholic.

Anyway, if all goes well, I may be heading to the USA come May straight after FYP presentation. To the Grand Canyon. Excited much. Nv stepped on American soil.

Applying for a position at EADS. Just trying my luck.

Breakfast and supper and breafast and supper for 5 consecutive days. Unfathomable.

Need to buck up for FYP in the meanwhile!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Greener pastures

I'm loving the new chapter in this book.

Monday, January 11, 2010

A New Chapter

"Don't close the book. Just turn the page."

That aside, pls take care of yourself while you're away. I really felt it after reading your blog about your near encounter with those ppl. That guy was really God-sent. Thank Him for keeping you safe.

Last nite, channel 5 just screened 'A New Hope - Starwars Episode 4'. A little apt? =P

School starts.

I can't wait to see what 2010 has in store.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Sunshine and the rain

I thought I was over you, but even the others could tell otherwise. I guess I don't realise it after all. It was sunshine and rain altogether at the same time. It's my dream; we all are entitled to dream right? Everything starts with one. I know now isn't the right time, perhaps you still aren't ready, perhaps for me you never will be. But it's ok. I try to do things and leave it as neutral as possible so you wouldn't start thinking all over again. I can just sit by the side. I don't know if what I'm doing now is waiting till it's really impossible. I will pray about it. I will pray for you.

I will miss you.

Sometimes, we'll only learn to appreciate people when they're no longer with us.

Friday, January 01, 2010

Goodbye 2009 Hello 2010

So I ushered in the new year with MJ at ET's. was initially down by 23, but some sick hands and I overturned the deficit into a profit of 36. For my own pleasure to remember, a few 'penghu's in a row, plus 2x 5-tai zi-mo including a xiao-san-yuan, a few other 5-tais, a near zi-yi-se, and an animal 'an-kang' were highlights of a super sick MJ luck I had last night. But lately my luck has been rather good of late. Perhaps 2010 will be a life-turning year for me? (think toto haha)

Anyway, I've progressed with my FYP finally. But analysis of results dun seem too convincing. Theory doesn't match the result. But oh well, I progressed.

Exam results came out on the 30th. As usual, subjects which I thought I'd do well weren't as good, and vice versa. But the bright side is I hit a 4 for the first time in my uni life. It may be the norm for some ppl, but I think it's my own personal target this sem and I'm glad I achieved it. My aim is a super high 4.7 next sem. =S

Later on that very same day, rode to town to pass some documents to my friend, but clever me decided to take the chance to not top-up petrol just yet. Luckily, it died at KPO, just within walking distance of cine. Then it wasnt a very pleasant surprise when I saw my friend too. 2 blows in a day. Ok can. Went home, walked to Jelita Caltex, bought petrol and dabao-ed it back to KPO to feed my baby. Pokered that very night. Was doing well, but eventually lost an all-in; perhaps was too rash. What a day.