Finally a nice dream=)

I'll be dreaming of you tonight

Til tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight

And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be

Then here in my room

Dreaming about you and me

I dreamt a nice dream of us last night=) it was the kind i wish i nevr had to get up.

I'm falling sick. Again.

Dreaming of you

I dreamt of you last night again. The words you said to me seemed so vivid and so real, I wish you'll never have to say to me in reality cuz it pierces my heart. To date, there hasn't really been anything i regret except the day i chose to let you go.

Time heals wounds; or does it?

Why does it hurt so much even after so long? All you ever wanted was to know if i wanted to be with you. All you ever needed was just for me to be there for you. All i ever did was nothing. And I'm paying the price for it right now. The rain has started to pour again. How can I tell you that I'm missing you so so so badly right now? I can't show it. Not to you. My heart feels like it's been thru alot worse than a million knife stabs. I can't sleep thinking of you.

We said we'd be together. That we'd hold on til a miracle happens. When we parted, we were unsure if it was the right thing to do. I missed you and my heart broke the second we made the decision. Will hanging on actually do us no good? How come it still hurts so badly then? It feels like it was just yesterday since we broke up. I know that there are alot more than just fun times that we should focus on. Issues unsettled and complicated for some to understand. But if i could do anything to be with you again, I would.

I miss you it hurts.

"You'll never walk (alone)"

My ankles are killin me! First the right, now the left. I need to recover in time for IH!

A Royal Affair

Ok..something happy and not depressing for a change =) had a wonderful time on 30th Dec 2006 as the JCM and crystal's other friends celebrated her 21st birthday. I was made the emcee of the games segment but sumhow the birthday girl ended up co-hosting it with me! haha..of course, i loved the food. Cereal prawns, curry chicken, fried rice, fried mee, egg omelette, fish and brinjal, mixed veg, spring rolls, samosa, almond jelly, sea coconut...char/crystal: how come no one talked about the food??!! i'm surprised lol.

hey, i'm lazy to 'narate' it all here haha..but yea, it was one of the best parties i've attended. From the preparations, the organization, the sporting guests (who made my job much easier :) ), the FOOD etc...What a wonderful way to celebrate the eve of New Year's Eve and to close the year nicely after all that happened in 2006 =) Pity Mike Lui couldn't join us as he wasn't feeling too good. He would have brought his crown and mine haha. And our swords. Mike, the photos are on her blog. Take care in UK too bro. Got your sms. No worries yea? See you when you return again :)

Hello 2007

Bye 2006. The most tumultuous year for me to date.

1. Took over as president of altarboys BSC. Didn't expect the serving rate to decline that badly in the end. Did i do too little? Maybe so. Left with unfinished business come December.

2. Organised a 21st Birthday celebration at macs for Her. I think that was the last major thing i did. Sigh. Could have, should have, done more. Lotsa happy memories. But well, sadly, they stay as memories. Just replaced my home PC monitor and was looking thru the photos. Sigh. Shan't go on...

3. ORDed before another stock-taking. Handover was a real relief. My understudy was hardworking but not that competent. Oh well, cldn give 2 hoots about it. ORD anyway. Slacked my way thru army. Re-read an email from an old fren. I'm taking the advice about not thinking about all the 'what-if's' and 'what-could-have-been's. Didn't regret my decision. Time spent with that special someone was worth every second i was not in camp.

4. Tioman. Best getaway to date. Slacked overseas, fished, ate, drank, got high, sang songs and solos, learnt a few puffs. All things sinful. Sigh. Loved the 'rockfall' or so they called it. Snorkelled around a small island. Stingrays, satay, beer, all going cheap cheap. Made a new fren.

5. WE starting drifting. Was it me? Did i not have time for Her? Maybe i still couldn't understand Her enough. Or did i feel it was like the other way round? Going out seemed to Her like an obligation instead of the looking-foward-to-meet-you. Parting was painful. Think it was mutual. Sigh. Still we couldn't bear to. I didn't do enough to keep Her by my side. Beneath my smiley and joking exterior alwz, i guess noone really knew the heartache and tears i went through. Not even Her. I alwz held on to the belief that we would work things out.

6. Looking back, i think what followed in the next few months i wish i could reverse. Those close to me would know what transpired. Rash decision? Action-reaction? Sigh. Went clubbing for the first time. (yea i was 20 already and my first time..so what?) Smoked, drank, ran a distance a i never knew. From home to pine grove, to maju camp, to ngee ann poly, to kap, down bukit timah road, up 6th ave, holland road and back home. God knows where i found the energy to do so. I have never done more than 4.8k before and that was in sec4. I was trying to forget Her.

7. My 21st Birthday. How dumb cld i get? I alwz bring my camera around except on the day of my birthday celebration. Noone else had a cam that day. Sigh. No photos of frens or family that day. Guess what remains is what i can remember. Alota ppl couldnt make it. 3 cousins were overseas, 1 couldn't make it, and sum uncles and aunties here and there couldn't make it as well. To my brothers who came, your presence meant alot. To those who wished me via phonecall or sms, thank you so much. I appreciate my dad and mum the most. Dad isn't working, Mum just stopped her parttime work, yet they were still willing to throw me a party.

It wasn't the most lavish of parties with wine and music and lights; it wasn't one with a huge birthday cake; it wasn't one where i received a car from my dad.

It was the one where i felt love from my parents. I never really got the chance to thank them that nite. The last time i remembered celebrating with Mum AND Dad around? 7 years old. I think.

8. 1st exams in NTU. I tried. Didn't really reach my aim. Sigh. So much for PhD dreams. I guess i really ain't that smart after all. (yea..go on laugh) I will try harder next sem.

9. Christmas. (go read one of previous entries)

10. New year. No countdown for me. I think it's just another day. Spent it at coffee bean at holland v and then at the hawker centre playing cards till 3am. Spent New Year's Day at home with family.

I wish all a good 2007 ahead.