Hello 2007

Bye 2006. The most tumultuous year for me to date.

1. Took over as president of altarboys BSC. Didn't expect the serving rate to decline that badly in the end. Did i do too little? Maybe so. Left with unfinished business come December.

2. Organised a 21st Birthday celebration at macs for Her. I think that was the last major thing i did. Sigh. Could have, should have, done more. Lotsa happy memories. But well, sadly, they stay as memories. Just replaced my home PC monitor and was looking thru the photos. Sigh. Shan't go on...

3. ORDed before another stock-taking. Handover was a real relief. My understudy was hardworking but not that competent. Oh well, cldn give 2 hoots about it. ORD anyway. Slacked my way thru army. Re-read an email from an old fren. I'm taking the advice about not thinking about all the 'what-if's' and 'what-could-have-been's. Didn't regret my decision. Time spent with that special someone was worth every second i was not in camp.

4. Tioman. Best getaway to date. Slacked overseas, fished, ate, drank, got high, sang songs and solos, learnt a few puffs. All things sinful. Sigh. Loved the 'rockfall' or so they called it. Snorkelled around a small island. Stingrays, satay, beer, all going cheap cheap. Made a new fren.

5. WE starting drifting. Was it me? Did i not have time for Her? Maybe i still couldn't understand Her enough. Or did i feel it was like the other way round? Going out seemed to Her like an obligation instead of the looking-foward-to-meet-you. Parting was painful. Think it was mutual. Sigh. Still we couldn't bear to. I didn't do enough to keep Her by my side. Beneath my smiley and joking exterior alwz, i guess noone really knew the heartache and tears i went through. Not even Her. I alwz held on to the belief that we would work things out.

6. Looking back, i think what followed in the next few months i wish i could reverse. Those close to me would know what transpired. Rash decision? Action-reaction? Sigh. Went clubbing for the first time. (yea i was 20 already and my first time..so what?) Smoked, drank, ran a distance a i never knew. From home to pine grove, to maju camp, to ngee ann poly, to kap, down bukit timah road, up 6th ave, holland road and back home. God knows where i found the energy to do so. I have never done more than 4.8k before and that was in sec4. I was trying to forget Her.

7. My 21st Birthday. How dumb cld i get? I alwz bring my camera around except on the day of my birthday celebration. Noone else had a cam that day. Sigh. No photos of frens or family that day. Guess what remains is what i can remember. Alota ppl couldnt make it. 3 cousins were overseas, 1 couldn't make it, and sum uncles and aunties here and there couldn't make it as well. To my brothers who came, your presence meant alot. To those who wished me via phonecall or sms, thank you so much. I appreciate my dad and mum the most. Dad isn't working, Mum just stopped her parttime work, yet they were still willing to throw me a party.

It wasn't the most lavish of parties with wine and music and lights; it wasn't one with a huge birthday cake; it wasn't one where i received a car from my dad.

It was the one where i felt love from my parents. I never really got the chance to thank them that nite. The last time i remembered celebrating with Mum AND Dad around? 7 years old. I think.

8. 1st exams in NTU. I tried. Didn't really reach my aim. Sigh. So much for PhD dreams. I guess i really ain't that smart after all. (yea..go on laugh) I will try harder next sem.

9. Christmas. (go read one of previous entries)

10. New year. No countdown for me. I think it's just another day. Spent it at coffee bean at holland v and then at the hawker centre playing cards till 3am. Spent New Year's Day at home with family.

I wish all a good 2007 ahead.