My Sunday night with 6.40 AI+

Yay holidays

My revised things-to-do-now-that-exams-are-over-list

1. DOTA
2. Mahjong
3. Learn HTML
4. Teach fellow altar-servers maths
5. Soccer
6. Slack at beach
7. Slack in town (yes i've only been ard boon lay and home)
8. Get a job
9. Holiday overseas
10. Exercise regularly
11. Eat at crystal jade with ching (ching this is for u =P)
12. Practice magic
13. Sort music files on computer
14. Clean hall room

I Miss You.

You wrote:

Think back to the day when you first laid eyes on her. You found urself charmed by the way she talks, the way she dresses herself to show off her best features and the way she embraces life with her laughter. It seemed as if a mysterious "chemistry effect" has suddenly developed to draw you closer to her. You two then began to meet regularly, and you discover more things tt you admire about her. Her clever ideas, her healthy values and the way she stands up for you when others doubt you. You find yourself thinking of her not just as a normal friend, but a very gd friend. It is often during this period tt a boy and a gal will start thinking of bringing their friendship to another level. After all, the kind of wonderful experience you've between each other can only become even better if it develops into a romantic relationship. In other words, the feeling is really unique - no one else seems able to replace her in your heart. So both of you agree to go be together & work even harder on the relationship. u "graduate" to become a couple, and are the envy of the sea of singles.

When u Forget The Fundamentals, however, at some point in ur relationship, u forgot how it all began. You start to take your partner for granted. Why can't she laugh in a more ladylike manner? Why doesn't she dress herself more trendily? Why must she assert her views and point out your silly mistakes? Is she really the one for you? To be fair to yourself and to her, take some time to reflect on your "love memory". The "love memory' contains all the reasons tt u fell in love with her right from Day One. It contains rarely accessed snippets of how your life has changed since meeting & loving her. Pre-steady days, did you heap compliments on her for the brave way she spoke her mind on bullies and snobs? You probably did. Did you like her unusual fashion sense tt makes her stand out from the crowd? Who I Want to Meet: Right. So why are you criticising or finding fault with her now that she is your girlfriend? Because you have forgotten the fundamentals of love, like so many of us. You have forgotten the reasons you admired her during the friendship phase. Instead, once you went steady, you put your "love memory" in cold storage. As her boyfriend, you take up a new set of demands and expectations abouther. These new ideas are not necessarily better; they could put your relationship at risk.

The Secret Of Strong Relationships, a healthy relationship, like learning to walk properly, follows a step-by-step development. You can't possibly become part of a couple if you aren't friends in the first place. Ok, I know some of us break the rule and plunge straight into whirlwind courtship, but how many of those couples can go the distance? So whenever your relationship hits a rocky path, don't give up without checking on your "love memory".

Rediscover the reasons why you fell in love.

I miss your voice
I miss your smile
I miss your touch
I miss your laughter
I miss running my fingers thru your hair
I miss looking deep into your eyes
I miss the way you look at me
I miss holding your hand
I miss you whispering 'I miss you'
I miss your child-like innocence
I miss your unspoken gentleness
I miss your silent sweetness
I miss your tender lovingness
I miss your unassuming thoughtfulness
I miss your wisdom
I miss your words of encouragement
I miss the many times we had meals together at your table
I miss the many times we spent window-shopping at things we love
I miss the hours just watching tv on the couch and holding you
I miss the days we spent studying together
I miss the evenings we walked home up that slope
I miss the nights at your doorstep where we couldn't bear to say goodbye
I miss the countless waves of goodbyes we had at your window
I miss those runs i had to make to catch the last bus home
I miss those late nite calls
I miss those cards in which you wrote special somethings
I miss being there for you when you needed me
I miss you being there for me when I needed you

I miss you so bad it hurts. Everyday.

What's over

I hope they'll moderate Maths. In any case, Spanish'll compensate for Maths =)

My things-to-do-after-exam-list

1. DOTA
2. Mahjong
3. Learn how to handle HTML nonsense
4. Jam a full proper song
5. Teach fellow altar-servers maths
6. Soccer
7. Slack at the beach
8. Slack in some coffee-joint/aircon place in town
9. Search for a decent-paying part-time job
10. Exercise. Regularly.
11. Holiday
12. (supposed to be something more meaningful here..still thinking)

No to emo. Can't help thinking.

Ok i ain't emo let me stress that.

It's jus that, amidst all the exams and studies, the fun, the parties, the soccer, the beer, the mahjong, the these and the thats...when u thought u've finally moved on, somehow your sub-conscious rings a bell in your head when u least expect it to, knocking the past back into your thick, numb skull. What an ass. The angel's on your left telling you to move on, the devil's on the other side giving you feelings of a different sort (or is it the other way round?). Dug out old photos. Those real hard-copy ones u can feel in your hand and which somehow seems non-existent anymore due to digital cameras. Man, the feeling of looking at hard-copy photos ain't the same. U fill me?

Maths paper was a disaster, i felt, but i'm not gona KB here cz it ain't worth my time man. Move on, español is up next. Physics will be over by el fin de semana (the weekend).

Listening to Hokkien song (cik ki sio ho sua - one small unbrella) on toon's computer now.

It seems to me you've moved on. Please don't keep me guessing. I've lost you before. And I'm afraid I'll never have you back again. Are we meant to be together again or apart?

The Exultet - Easter Vigil Prayer

Rejoice, heavenly powers! Sing, choirs of angels! Exult, all creation around God's throne! Jesus Christ, our King, is risen! Sound the trumpet of salvation!

Rejoice, O earth, in shining splendor, radiant in the brightness of your King! Christ has conquered! Glory fills you! Darkness vanishes for ever!

Rejoice, O Mother Church! Exult in glory! The risen Savior shines upon you! Let this place resound with joy, echoing the mighty song of all God's people!

My dearest friends, standing with me in this holy light, join me in asking God for mercy, hat he may give his unworthy minister grace to sing his Easter praises.

The Lord be with you. (And also with you)
Lift up your hearts. (We lift them up to the Lord)
Let us give thanks to the Lord our God. (It is right to give him thanks and praise).

It is truly right that with full hearts and minds and voices we should praise the unseen God, the all-powerful Father, and his only Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.

For Christ has ransomed us with his blood, and paid for us the price of Adam's sin to our eternal Father!

This is our passover feast, when Christ, the true Lamb, is slain, whose blood consecrates the homes of all believers.

This is the night when first you saved our fathers: you freed the people of Israel from their slavery and led them dry-shod through the sea.

This is the night when the pillar of fire destroyed the darkness of sin.

This is night when Christians everywhere, washed clean of sin and freed from all defilement, are restored to grace and grow together in holiness.

This is the night when Jesus Christ broke the chains of death and rose triumphant from the grave.

What good would life have been to us, had Christ not come as our Redeemer? Father, how wonderful your care for us! How boundless your merciful love! To ransom a slave you gave away your Son.

O happy fault, O necessary sin of Adam, which gained for us so great a Redeemer!

Most blessed of all nights, chosen by God to see Christ rising from the dead!

Of this night scripture says: "The night will be as clear as day: it will become my light, my joy."

The power of this holy night dispels all evil, ashes guilt away, restores lost innocence, brings mourners joy; it casts out hatred, brings us peace,and humbles earthly pride.

Night truly blessed when heaven is wedded to earth and man is reconciled with God!

Therefore, heavenly Father, in the joy of this night, receive our evening sacrifice of praise, your Church's solemn offering. Accept this Easter candle, a flame divided but undimmed, a pillar of fire that glows to the honor of God.

Let it mingle with the lights of heaven and continue bravely burning to dispel the darkness of this night!

May the Morning Star which never sets find this flame still burning: Christ, that Morning Star, who came back from the dead, and shed his peaceful light on all mankind, your Son, who lives and reigns for ever and ever. Amen.

30th March - A Date to Remember

This time last year, i was celebrating the bithday of a loved one.

This year, i am mourning the loss of one.

2 contrasting events depiciting me the two extremes of life.

On monday, the call came in. The news hit me, but it hadn't sunk in. After all, he had been suffering for a few years, part of me was relieved the Lord finally allowed him to return Home. And i was happy that i did not put off my visiting him only a few months ago despite school taking up so much of my time. Otherwise, i would have never gotten the chance to hug him again.

On monday, mum said it was alrite to stay in sch to study till thurs nite. By tuesday, i jus didn't have the concentration and discipline to do so. I was ghosting through tutorial rooms and lecture theatres. On wednesday, i finally made the trip down to his wake. Was holding back tears when i saw him lying in that wooden box. But he had peace on his face. That was comforting. Said a prayer. Went back home that nite, had to drag myself to lessons the next day.

During the service on thursday, cousins delivered beautiful eulogies. Beautiful memories of him. Sigh. Kept vigil till friday morn...

...as the coffin made its way to the cremation room, daughters and sons, granddaughters and grandsons said their last goodbyes through the viewing hall. Heart-wrenching it was. As his great-grandson Matthew said in his 4-year-old child-innocence, "byebye kong kong".

Overheard in the bus back to my grandmother's place: "Aunty Li, why u all so sad just now? no need to be sad ok?" That was from Matthew.

He was right. My grandfather is in good hands now. Finally, his time on this temporary place called earth has come to an end. His time somewhere far beyond and better in God's presence is just beginning.

Afterthoughts:
It is true that at a funeral, it is a gathering of long-lost family members. I sensed the closeness of family ties not felt at events like chinese new year or whatever else. I guessed looking down from above, my grandfather must be smiling.
Sometimes, amidst all the sorrow and tears, we fail to see the silver lining that a 4-year-old sees. Because i know the Lord takes cares of His children, even though sadness fills me, in my heart i can still smile.
Life is just a temporary assignment on earth. When it's all said and done, ashes and dust we return to. For his assignment, my grandfather passed with flying colours.

"He had fought the good fight, finished the race, kept the faith. God will reward him the crown of righteousness... ...and not only to him, but also to all who have longed for his appearing"
(2 Timothy 4: 6-9)

We love you 'kong kong'.