One of my all-time favourite songs (and yes, it's a chinese one):
安静
只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开
你要我说多难堪
我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份
包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多
我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开
我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份
安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你
是因为我太爱你
...I duno if u've moved on.
But if u have,
i wish u all the best.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Nymphetamine
Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A 'V' of black swans
On with hope to the grave
All through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones
Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain
So I swore to thy razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again
Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine
Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt
(Keeping Sodom at night at bay)
Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance out to the moon
As we did in those golden days
Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay
Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Midsummer, I waved
A 'V' of black swans
On with hope to the grave
All through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones
Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain
So I swore to thy razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again
Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine
Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt
(Keeping Sodom at night at bay)
Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance out to the moon
As we did in those golden days
Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay
Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your holiness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine
For once upon a time
From the binds of your holiness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Are you man enough?
Smtms people should just be more sensitive towards others feelings. Especially if one has known the other party for so damn long. I jus cant stand the way how he treats the family and speaks to her sometimes. Show her some love for goodness sake u twerp. I wish u'd be more sensitive and mindful of your own family. Hopefully u're not cheating on her and her kid on another mistress and family outside. U'd disappoint your own child and drive your wife to her grave. U've only known how to go back to them when the going gets tough but totally left them out of everything else during your prime and when u were doing well. Are you man enough to tell her sorry? Something I doubt u've ever done? Maybe it doesn't matter whether or not u do already. Cuz u've disappointed the people who love u the most.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Triple Sweet Victory
Kudus to Hall6 ruggers. We played our hearts out and overcame the odds. 8-7 the final score read. Bruised bodies, popped shoulders, calf cramps.. it's been 2 days and i'm still in a daze how we did it. Absolute hall6. Perfecto. Buenos. We didn't have to wait for the soccer dudes to deliver the goods. We did it! Already the sports champs, we brought the overall champs title in; and the icing on the cake was to defeat the supposedly 'unbeatable' hall. Superb game play, excellent discipline on the pitch, warriors hungry for victory.
C A M P I O N E
C A M P I O N E
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Goodbye National Stadium
It was a fitting end. Victory against Thailand "over 90 minutes since 1977" -soccernet.com. It was my first and last LIVE soccer match at the National Stadium! Couldn't possibly let this opportunity pass=) I experienced the passion (albeit sometimes over-reaction I'd say) of the fans first hand. Ok la, i was one of them =P. Verbal abuse of the ref and visiting team were the programme for the day. But the ref was really f%#*ed up. (From the land of Dr M..wadya expecting man?) Anyway, I had a good look at the National Stadium again one last time before its tearing down.
Goodnite.
Goodnite.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Finally a nice dream=)
I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Til tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room
Dreaming about you and me
I dreamt a nice dream of us last night=) it was the kind i wish i nevr had to get up.
I'm falling sick. Again.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Dreaming of you
I dreamt of you last night again. The words you said to me seemed so vivid and so real, I wish you'll never have to say to me in reality cuz it pierces my heart. To date, there hasn't really been anything i regret except the day i chose to let you go.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Time heals wounds; or does it?
Why does it hurt so much even after so long? All you ever wanted was to know if i wanted to be with you. All you ever needed was just for me to be there for you. All i ever did was nothing. And I'm paying the price for it right now. The rain has started to pour again. How can I tell you that I'm missing you so so so badly right now? I can't show it. Not to you. My heart feels like it's been thru alot worse than a million knife stabs. I can't sleep thinking of you.
We said we'd be together. That we'd hold on til a miracle happens. When we parted, we were unsure if it was the right thing to do. I missed you and my heart broke the second we made the decision. Will hanging on actually do us no good? How come it still hurts so badly then? It feels like it was just yesterday since we broke up. I know that there are alot more than just fun times that we should focus on. Issues unsettled and complicated for some to understand. But if i could do anything to be with you again, I would.
I miss you it hurts.
We said we'd be together. That we'd hold on til a miracle happens. When we parted, we were unsure if it was the right thing to do. I missed you and my heart broke the second we made the decision. Will hanging on actually do us no good? How come it still hurts so badly then? It feels like it was just yesterday since we broke up. I know that there are alot more than just fun times that we should focus on. Issues unsettled and complicated for some to understand. But if i could do anything to be with you again, I would.
I miss you it hurts.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
"You'll never walk (alone)"
My ankles are killin me! First the right, now the left. I need to recover in time for IH!
A Royal Affair
Ok..something happy and not depressing for a change =) had a wonderful time on 30th Dec 2006 as the JCM and crystal's other friends celebrated her 21st birthday. I was made the emcee of the games segment but sumhow the birthday girl ended up co-hosting it with me! haha..of course, i loved the food. Cereal prawns, curry chicken, fried rice, fried mee, egg omelette, fish and brinjal, mixed veg, spring rolls, samosa, almond jelly, sea coconut...char/crystal: how come no one talked about the food??!! i'm surprised lol.
hey, i'm lazy to 'narate' it all here haha..but yea, it was one of the best parties i've attended. From the preparations, the organization, the sporting guests (who made my job much easier :) ), the FOOD etc...What a wonderful way to celebrate the eve of New Year's Eve and to close the year nicely after all that happened in 2006 =) Pity Mike Lui couldn't join us as he wasn't feeling too good. He would have brought his crown and mine haha. And our swords. Mike, the photos are on her blog. Take care in UK too bro. Got your sms. No worries yea? See you when you return again :)
hey, i'm lazy to 'narate' it all here haha..but yea, it was one of the best parties i've attended. From the preparations, the organization, the sporting guests (who made my job much easier :) ), the FOOD etc...What a wonderful way to celebrate the eve of New Year's Eve and to close the year nicely after all that happened in 2006 =) Pity Mike Lui couldn't join us as he wasn't feeling too good. He would have brought his crown and mine haha. And our swords. Mike, the photos are on her blog. Take care in UK too bro. Got your sms. No worries yea? See you when you return again :)
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Hello 2007
Bye 2006. The most tumultuous year for me to date.
1. Took over as president of altarboys BSC. Didn't expect the serving rate to decline that badly in the end. Did i do too little? Maybe so. Left with unfinished business come December.
2. Organised a 21st Birthday celebration at macs for Her. I think that was the last major thing i did. Sigh. Could have, should have, done more. Lotsa happy memories. But well, sadly, they stay as memories. Just replaced my home PC monitor and was looking thru the photos. Sigh. Shan't go on...
3. ORDed before another stock-taking. Handover was a real relief. My understudy was hardworking but not that competent. Oh well, cldn give 2 hoots about it. ORD anyway. Slacked my way thru army. Re-read an email from an old fren. I'm taking the advice about not thinking about all the 'what-if's' and 'what-could-have-been's. Didn't regret my decision. Time spent with that special someone was worth every second i was not in camp.
4. Tioman. Best getaway to date. Slacked overseas, fished, ate, drank, got high, sang songs and solos, learnt a few puffs. All things sinful. Sigh. Loved the 'rockfall' or so they called it. Snorkelled around a small island. Stingrays, satay, beer, all going cheap cheap. Made a new fren.
5. WE starting drifting. Was it me? Did i not have time for Her? Maybe i still couldn't understand Her enough. Or did i feel it was like the other way round? Going out seemed to Her like an obligation instead of the looking-foward-to-meet-you. Parting was painful. Think it was mutual. Sigh. Still we couldn't bear to. I didn't do enough to keep Her by my side. Beneath my smiley and joking exterior alwz, i guess noone really knew the heartache and tears i went through. Not even Her. I alwz held on to the belief that we would work things out.
6. Looking back, i think what followed in the next few months i wish i could reverse. Those close to me would know what transpired. Rash decision? Action-reaction? Sigh. Went clubbing for the first time. (yea i was 20 already and my first time..so what?) Smoked, drank, ran a distance a i never knew. From home to pine grove, to maju camp, to ngee ann poly, to kap, down bukit timah road, up 6th ave, holland road and back home. God knows where i found the energy to do so. I have never done more than 4.8k before and that was in sec4. I was trying to forget Her.
7. My 21st Birthday. How dumb cld i get? I alwz bring my camera around except on the day of my birthday celebration. Noone else had a cam that day. Sigh. No photos of frens or family that day. Guess what remains is what i can remember. Alota ppl couldnt make it. 3 cousins were overseas, 1 couldn't make it, and sum uncles and aunties here and there couldn't make it as well. To my brothers who came, your presence meant alot. To those who wished me via phonecall or sms, thank you so much. I appreciate my dad and mum the most. Dad isn't working, Mum just stopped her parttime work, yet they were still willing to throw me a party.
It wasn't the most lavish of parties with wine and music and lights; it wasn't one with a huge birthday cake; it wasn't one where i received a car from my dad.
It was the one where i felt love from my parents. I never really got the chance to thank them that nite. The last time i remembered celebrating with Mum AND Dad around? 7 years old. I think.
8. 1st exams in NTU. I tried. Didn't really reach my aim. Sigh. So much for PhD dreams. I guess i really ain't that smart after all. (yea..go on laugh) I will try harder next sem.
9. Christmas. (go read one of previous entries)
10. New year. No countdown for me. I think it's just another day. Spent it at coffee bean at holland v and then at the hawker centre playing cards till 3am. Spent New Year's Day at home with family.
I wish all a good 2007 ahead.
1. Took over as president of altarboys BSC. Didn't expect the serving rate to decline that badly in the end. Did i do too little? Maybe so. Left with unfinished business come December.
2. Organised a 21st Birthday celebration at macs for Her. I think that was the last major thing i did. Sigh. Could have, should have, done more. Lotsa happy memories. But well, sadly, they stay as memories. Just replaced my home PC monitor and was looking thru the photos. Sigh. Shan't go on...
3. ORDed before another stock-taking. Handover was a real relief. My understudy was hardworking but not that competent. Oh well, cldn give 2 hoots about it. ORD anyway. Slacked my way thru army. Re-read an email from an old fren. I'm taking the advice about not thinking about all the 'what-if's' and 'what-could-have-been's. Didn't regret my decision. Time spent with that special someone was worth every second i was not in camp.
4. Tioman. Best getaway to date. Slacked overseas, fished, ate, drank, got high, sang songs and solos, learnt a few puffs. All things sinful. Sigh. Loved the 'rockfall' or so they called it. Snorkelled around a small island. Stingrays, satay, beer, all going cheap cheap. Made a new fren.
5. WE starting drifting. Was it me? Did i not have time for Her? Maybe i still couldn't understand Her enough. Or did i feel it was like the other way round? Going out seemed to Her like an obligation instead of the looking-foward-to-meet-you. Parting was painful. Think it was mutual. Sigh. Still we couldn't bear to. I didn't do enough to keep Her by my side. Beneath my smiley and joking exterior alwz, i guess noone really knew the heartache and tears i went through. Not even Her. I alwz held on to the belief that we would work things out.
6. Looking back, i think what followed in the next few months i wish i could reverse. Those close to me would know what transpired. Rash decision? Action-reaction? Sigh. Went clubbing for the first time. (yea i was 20 already and my first time..so what?) Smoked, drank, ran a distance a i never knew. From home to pine grove, to maju camp, to ngee ann poly, to kap, down bukit timah road, up 6th ave, holland road and back home. God knows where i found the energy to do so. I have never done more than 4.8k before and that was in sec4. I was trying to forget Her.
7. My 21st Birthday. How dumb cld i get? I alwz bring my camera around except on the day of my birthday celebration. Noone else had a cam that day. Sigh. No photos of frens or family that day. Guess what remains is what i can remember. Alota ppl couldnt make it. 3 cousins were overseas, 1 couldn't make it, and sum uncles and aunties here and there couldn't make it as well. To my brothers who came, your presence meant alot. To those who wished me via phonecall or sms, thank you so much. I appreciate my dad and mum the most. Dad isn't working, Mum just stopped her parttime work, yet they were still willing to throw me a party.
It wasn't the most lavish of parties with wine and music and lights; it wasn't one with a huge birthday cake; it wasn't one where i received a car from my dad.
It was the one where i felt love from my parents. I never really got the chance to thank them that nite. The last time i remembered celebrating with Mum AND Dad around? 7 years old. I think.
8. 1st exams in NTU. I tried. Didn't really reach my aim. Sigh. So much for PhD dreams. I guess i really ain't that smart after all. (yea..go on laugh) I will try harder next sem.
9. Christmas. (go read one of previous entries)
10. New year. No countdown for me. I think it's just another day. Spent it at coffee bean at holland v and then at the hawker centre playing cards till 3am. Spent New Year's Day at home with family.
I wish all a good 2007 ahead.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Some photos of 2006
Group Photos
MOS FHM top 100 party
Buddy Photos
Faces of SJI/NJ/NTU
Tioman Getaway
Post-Christmas Party at JS'
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Bah-loo-koo
Suffering from swollen ankle thru Old Boys rugby game today at SJI =( but was glad to finally play a full real game after years! Hopefully can recover in time for IH which starts this saturday though=p
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Christmas 2006
I think i'm getting old. I have to write down my schedule for each day for Christmas week cause i cannot remember wad i'll be having on a certain day!
Served 7pm Chinese Mass on Christmas Eve, went out awhile, served midnite Mass again, and then a little party with the altarservers at St. Luke's room. Wanted to go walawala's or eskibar with the ppl but everywhere was closing. Ended up having a joyride..and back to holland V at 4am for some snacks from 7-eleven. Next was trip to the cemetery at 5am. 2nd time to the cemetery at this hour. Drove Ian, Joshua, Benjamin, Reuben and Joan there lol. It was their first time. Went back to church at 7am to serve Mass at Dawn. Then breakfast at Macs Ridout Tea garden. Back home to sleep. Woke up at 4pm, went to Ian's hse for dinner. Damn shack. Though it was only 24 hours, it felt as if it was much longer than that haha.
Concussed at 10pm.
Served 7pm Chinese Mass on Christmas Eve, went out awhile, served midnite Mass again, and then a little party with the altarservers at St. Luke's room. Wanted to go walawala's or eskibar with the ppl but everywhere was closing. Ended up having a joyride..and back to holland V at 4am for some snacks from 7-eleven. Next was trip to the cemetery at 5am. 2nd time to the cemetery at this hour. Drove Ian, Joshua, Benjamin, Reuben and Joan there lol. It was their first time. Went back to church at 7am to serve Mass at Dawn. Then breakfast at Macs Ridout Tea garden. Back home to sleep. Woke up at 4pm, went to Ian's hse for dinner. Damn shack. Though it was only 24 hours, it felt as if it was much longer than that haha.
Concussed at 10pm.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
A Christmas Poem
Given if but one Christmas wish
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss
To hold your hand and never bid farewell
Say you still love me, i beg thee tell
Till the sun ceases to rise
Till the blind man sees, with his eyes
Till friend and foe stretch out their hands
I lay my life in His plans
-copyright-
-Paul Cheong-
-23rd Day of the 12th Month of the Year 2006 of the Lord-
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss
To hold your hand and never bid farewell
Say you still love me, i beg thee tell
Till the sun ceases to rise
Till the blind man sees, with his eyes
Till friend and foe stretch out their hands
I lay my life in His plans
-copyright-
-Paul Cheong-
-23rd Day of the 12th Month of the Year 2006 of the Lord-
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
tis the season to be spending...
I think the amount im spending in december may well exceed that of october and november combined. Oh how it sucks to restrict yourself from wad u do or eat because of $$$.
It's been raining non-stop for the past few days but it hasn deterred me from meeting up with my friends haha. Had a fun time time with my OG with whom we celebrated by buddy's birthday. Dinner was at JeJu some korean restaurant and MOS burger with Jac before that lol. Why am i not surprised at the amount i eat? heh. Oh well, had a great time with Jac (met u unexpectedly early lol) and my OG. Thanks guys for the company!
To one of my brothers: I'm returning soon man. I think u need to share your problems. We're kinda lost/confused/worried right now. Relax a little k? Dun let the turkeys get you down=)
The sun is up!
It's been raining non-stop for the past few days but it hasn deterred me from meeting up with my friends haha. Had a fun time time with my OG with whom we celebrated by buddy's birthday. Dinner was at JeJu some korean restaurant and MOS burger with Jac before that lol. Why am i not surprised at the amount i eat? heh. Oh well, had a great time with Jac (met u unexpectedly early lol) and my OG. Thanks guys for the company!
To one of my brothers: I'm returning soon man. I think u need to share your problems. We're kinda lost/confused/worried right now. Relax a little k? Dun let the turkeys get you down=)
The sun is up!
Friday, December 15, 2006
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Crawling Back to You
"Everybody knows that I was such a fool to ever let go of you
Baby I was wrong
Yeah I know I said we'd be better off alone
It was time that we moved on
I know I broke your heart,
I didn't mean to break your heart
But baby here I am
Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you
I know you're in there and you can make me wait
But I'm not gonna wait
It's the least that I can do, just to tell you face to face
I was lying to myself, now I'm dying in this hell
Girl I know you're mad, I can't blame you for being mad
But baby here I am
Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and now I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you
If you could see these tears I'm crying
Touch these hands that can't stop shaking
Hear my heart that's barely beating
You will see a different man
But baby here I am
Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth, now I'm crawling back to you"
Baby I was wrong
Yeah I know I said we'd be better off alone
It was time that we moved on
I know I broke your heart,
I didn't mean to break your heart
But baby here I am
Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you
I know you're in there and you can make me wait
But I'm not gonna wait
It's the least that I can do, just to tell you face to face
I was lying to myself, now I'm dying in this hell
Girl I know you're mad, I can't blame you for being mad
But baby here I am
Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and now I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you
If you could see these tears I'm crying
Touch these hands that can't stop shaking
Hear my heart that's barely beating
You will see a different man
But baby here I am
Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth, now I'm crawling back to you"
Sunday, December 10, 2006
MY week
At Pasir Ris with the Altarservers
Photowhores and Christmas lightings
1st Dec: Last paper finished at 1630h. Soccered from 1730h till 2130h. MJed from 2230h till next morn 0400h. Slept. Shiok.
2nd Dec: Home for lunch. DOTA-ed. Church altarservers meeting. DOTA-ed. Slept. Shiok.
3rd Dec: Served 7.30am Chinese Mass and 9.00am English Mass. Went to return and collect stuff from a friend. Encountered so much difficulty just to get back my stuff. oh well..Soccered from 1530h to 1730h @ Telok Blangah..Finally sum goalposts high enough for my 'wrath-of-paul' balls to enter...in the words of dear toon...OMGwtfBBQpwnk. haha. Dinnered with family.
4th Dec - 7th Dec: Chalet with the altarservers. Except for tues nite when we went to celebrate toon's birthday at billy bombers. Ate chic n ribs. Finished the meat portion but didn't finish the potato salad! Damn! I lost. One of the few times. tsktsk. Must train to eat again lol. Watched Tenacious D - The Pick of Destiny.
7th Dec: 0900h-Rugby training. 1st in a longlonglong time. Wasn really a shiong one as it was meant for the beginners who have never played rugby before. Oh well. 1700h-Track training. 1st in a longlonglong time as well. 1930h-Darts training. Quite an OK day...but considering i didn't sleep the night before.....
8th Dec: Jammed in the morning with Toon. Played some instrumental stuff though i didn't know exactly wad i was playing. Just went with the flow..Toon played/created/modified some chords/riffs, i just played along. But was good haha. Lunch was Can2. Dabao-ed chicken cutlet for toon who had to rush back to hall to reg subjects. DOTA-ed the whole afternoon, darts training in the evening. Dinner with zh, guan and guang @ HV. Then drank some Heineken and played a few games. Was a nice chill out session. Just relaxing. Not worrying about the time.
Ok...basically just wanna see my week is filled up with activities now that the exams are over..
Gonna DOTA now...getting bad at it alr...must train up! DOTA freak!
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